Goodbye Hair... Cancer Journey Part 7

Well it finally happened.  My hair started falling out.  You gotta love chemo...

So instead of having my hair fall out all over my house, we decided to have a head shaving party in the backyard and just get rid of it before it got worse.

While we were camping this weekend, I started running my fingers through my hair and my hand came out with a handful of hair.  I knew this was just the beginning and I was pretty bummed.  I was hoping though that it would just be a slow process and I could just hold off for a little while longer.  Then when we got home from camping and I was showering and washing my hair, this happened:

Yes that is all of my hair.  I was washing my hair and my hair was just falling out and my hands were covered in hair.  My shower was covered in hair.  The bottom of the shower was covered in hair.  My hair was going.  I was in shock at how fast it was just coming out.  I really thought that it would be a slow process but this was not, it just came out.  When I got out of the shower, I combed what was left and even more hair just came out in the comb.  I looked at the bathroom and it looked like the floor of a hair salon after a hair cut.  Except this was no hair cut.  Then I looked at what hair was left on my head and it was so thin.  I decided that rather than continue to shed all over the house, it was time to shave my head.  I knew this was a side effect of chemo so I was a little prepared for what was to come.

It was not a fun time and I was sad to see my hair go.  I was surprised though that I did not cry.  I really thought I would but I didn't.  While Russell was shaving my head, I told him I wanted him to do some thing fun like a Mohawk so that is what he attempted to do at first.

We also decided to make it a family affair so I let the kids do some of the shaving too.  They thought that was so much fun.  They had a good time shaving my head and wanted multiple turns.  We even gave Charlotte a turn! I really think it made them not feel so shocked with the results.   

Well here I am with no hair!  Actually I don't really know what to say.  I think I look like a boy now but surprisingly it is not as bad as I thought it would be.  My head is actually quite round and good shaped so it is not that bad.  Thankfully I still have my eyebrows and eyelashes.  I hope I keep those forever.

Next it was time to shave Russell's head too.  He told me he would shave his head with me so we did that too.  We gave Colby and Logan a buzz cut too.

Look at all that hair!  I can't believe my hair is gone now.  I am still trying to soak it all in and figure out what I think about it.

Here we are with our shaved heads.

Don't we look great!  The no hair thing is starting to grow on me I think.  Just think about all the time I will save in the morning because I will not have to do my hair anymore.  Also I think I have a cool GI Jane look.  

The best thing about a shaved head is petting my head.  I love the tickling feeling.  Logan and the other kids love to pet my head too.  It is so funny.

So now I have lost my hair.  Just one more wonderful side effect of chemo that I knew I would have to deal with.  I have been practicing tying different scarves on my head and wearing beanies and even trying out my wigs and to tell you the truth it really isn't as bad as I thought it would be.  The one bad thing is that my head gets cold at night so I have to sleep in a beanie.  I guess that isn't too bad either.   The bad thing is that my hair keeps falling out even now.  I should have just shaved my head bald instead of leaving a quarter inch.  Now instead of long hair everywhere, I have small little quarter inch hairs everywhere.  I always though I had thin hair but there actually was quite a bit of hair on my head!

The night we shaved our heads, we went to a neighborhood party.  I wore a scarf but one of the kids' friends, Maddie, came up to me and asked me what happened to my hair.  I laughed and told her it all fell out!  "Can you believe that?"  I asked.  She said no and then turned to her mom, my friend, April, and said, "Mom!  All of Tiffany's hair fell out!!"  We both laughed and April gave me a much needed hug!  We had a great time at the party and no one seemed to mind my scarfed head and my lack of hair.  It was my first time out this way and it turned out to be just fine.

When I first got diagnosed with cancer, my awesome little brother, Clint, told me out of the blue one day that whenever I had to shave my head he would shave his too.  So we sent him a picture of my shaved head and he sent us back a picture of his shaved head!  He also did a fun Mohawk before shaving it all off.  He told us that he was going to the Mohawk when his hair grew back.  Thanks Yod for being such a great supporter even from far away!

Roy and Chad also showed their support even though their heads were already bald!  Thanks guys! 

Finally, Lacie sent me this cool beanie for my bald head too.  I really like it because it is not very hot and it matches everything.  Thanks Lacie.

Being bald is crazy.  Sometimes I still have to take a double take in the mirror but it is growing on me.  I was really hoping I would not have to deal with this side effect but here it is.  I have officially stepped into the land of cancer patients.  It is no longer something I can hide.  Everyone has been very supportive and have told me I still look good which is great.  I have also been feeling really good over the last week or so.  That means it is time to go back in for another treatment.  Round 2 of chemo is coming up on July 31st.

To be continued...

Left Hand Fork Camping

We had another fun adventure this summer as a family.  Our Morwood Reunion was this weekend in Cedar Mountain.  With not knowing if Tiffany was going to be sick or not, however, we decided not to go.  Then we were sitting at the dinner table around 6 pm on Thursday and Tiffany said we were going camping this week up Left Hand Fork. She also said we should go take the trailer up tonight and save our spot. So we got everything together on a quick whim. We got on the road around 7:30 and on the mountain at 8:30. Emily came up with the idea to stay the night and get up early and take her to her party, so that is what we did. Once we got the trailer situated we went inside and boy the trailer was hot. We got the kids in the their PJ's and Tiff said "Oh I forgot mine." I went to find mine that I knew I brought but they disappeared, so we both slept in our clothes. There was a severe weather storm warning in the Bear Lake area so Colby was a little worried about it coming to us. Tiff told Colby is was not near us, I looked at Tiffany and said we are about 12 miles from Bear Lake as the crow flies. Later that night I watched over the mountain side and I saw the whole sky light up from the lightning. The rain and thunder made it to our camp site about 3 am and it came down. We were okay though because it was just rain.  The next morning, we headed back home to take Emily to her friend's birthday party.  Also that night Logan, Emily and I went to the Library swim party.  Unfortunately Colby had been sick all day so he couldn't go.  He was really bummed because by the time the swim party started, he was feeling better but we still wouldn't let him go.  We went back up to the mountain on Saturday morning.  We were glad we took the trailer up on Thursday to save our spot because by the time we came back on Saturday every campsite was packed because of the Pioneer Day holiday. We had a great time for the weekend.

We thought it was going to be cooler up in the mountain climate, but it was hot. So instead of dying in the heat the kids and I went to play in the river. Oh boy the water was cold. The water we played in was coming out of the mountain spring, but it felt good even if it was cold. The kids had a blast playing in the water. I showed them new tricks about playing in the water. We even built up a little dam to make the water deeper. They built it up enough that the water went up to Logan's bum. 

Charlotte did not want to be left behind either so Tiff let her kick in the water. She loves the water and wants to be just like her brothers and sister. She did not mind the icy cold water at all.  

This picture is of the Gray Cliff Spring coming out of the mountain. It was way cool to see how much water was coming out of the mountain. The water was super clear and fun to play in.  It was even colder than the river we had been playing in near our campsite.  We took a fun drive up the canyon to see this spring.

Here we are just chilling around camp as the sun was going down. The camp started to cool down just as the sun went behind the trailer. Our cute little family had a great time up at Left Hand Fork Canyon. The kids also had fun carving their sticks and going hiking. Colby is always finding a chance to use his knife and carve, so that is what he did for his down time. Emily forgot her knife so she used mine and loved it. They all had fun and we cannot wait to do it again. 

This was Charlotte's first camping trip.  She loved being outside and playing in the water but had to spend most of her time in her Pack-n-Play.  Charlotte was not too happy at first to be in the Pack-n-Play, but after a while she liked being in it. It was hard to play on the grass and on the floor of the trailer. The majority of the time she was in her Pack-n-Play and her little walker. We also made her a big play pin on our bed. By Sunday night she was at ends with playing around. We finally gave her a deck of cards to play with on the bed and that was the happiest she had been in a bit. The kids were worried about her ruining the cards, but Tiffany and I did not care because she was quiet and happy.  Charlotte thought being in the trailer was fun because it was a new place.  In fact she didn't want to go to sleep at all because she just wanted to look around and explore everything.  Finally we had to make it totally dark for her to relax and go to sleep. 

The whole camping trip was a great success and full of fun memories. Glad we had the idea to go up the mountain this weekend. Love you guys.

Russell's Birthday

Happy Birthday to me, Happy Birthday to me. What a fun day. With Tiff going through chemo we had fun other ways. I had fun with the kids and the neighborhood kids at the splash pad getting wet. It was just fun to hang out and play with them. That night we had Papa Murphy's Pizza and I had to have my favorite stuffed crust pizza. Then we had cake and ice cream. Emily and the Checketts girls came over in the afternoon and made the cake as a secret. They did a great job. 

After the happy birthday song was done and I cut the cake, I started giving really small pieces of cake to each of the kids as a joke. Everyone thought it was funny except Logan. He was very sad and upset that he only got a really small piece. 

Charlotte, on the other hand, had a great time with her piece of cake. She was very excited to eat it all on her own. She didn't care that it was a small piece! All in all it was a great day to turn the old 34. 

Chemo Day #1... Cancer Journey Part 6

July 10th was a day I have been dreading since getting the "You've got cancer" news.  July 10 was day 1 of my chemo treatments.  Though it was a day I was dreading, it was also a day I was looking forward to because it meant I was finally doing something to kill this stupid cancer.  It was a step toward a cure and overcoming this trial.

I decided that we would all wear pink on my chemo days so I found these fun shirts for the kids to wear on those days.  Their shirts say "I Wear Pink for My Mom!" with the breast cancer awareness pink ribbon on them.  I also got four breast cancer shirts for me and two for Russell to wear during treatments.  It was a pink day for all of us.

Russell and I dropped the kids off at our friend, Kelly Dennis's, house for the day.  They had a great time playing with the Dennis kids as well as all the other neighborhood kids in that area.  They keep asking when they can go back to the Dennis's.

After dropping off the kids, we headed to the hospital.

My port was accessed and labs were drawn to check my blood and liver levels.  This gave the doctor a baseline to measure my levels and other things for the future treatments.  Then while the labs were being measured, I went up to see the Oncologist, Dr. S.  He was really nice and told me about some of the possible side effects.  Then he asked if I was ready for this and I told him, "I guess I better be..."

Then it was back downstairs to start the dreaded Chemo...

Before starting the chemo, I had some premeds run through the IV which included a steroid to prevent swelling and anti-nausea medicine to obviously prevent nausea for the next few days.  This ran for about an hour and then it was chemo time.  The chemo medicine came in a bio-hazard chemical bag and the nurse giving it to me was basically in a hazmat suit so that she would be protected from this poison.  I know what you are thinking hazmat suits, bio-chemical bags and then we are just going to inject that stuff into my veins.  Yeah it was a little crazy. 

I am laughing in this picture because of the irony of the whole situation.  The hazmat suit, the poison, and lets just put it in my body.  Yeah sounds like a good idea.  The first chemo drug was Taxotere.  This ran for about an hour.  The next chemo drug I got was Cytoxin.  This one ran for about a half hour.  The whole administration process was pretty easy, Russell and I just sat there and took it.  And finally at about 1:30 it was done.  One chemo treatment down, three to go.  We headed home after stopping at Cafe Rio for lunch.  If anything this chemo lets Russell and me have a date alone once in a while.  It kind of sucks it has to be this way but lets look on the bright side, right?

After picking up the kids, we drove home and we noticed that our awesome neighbors had "Heart Attacked" us!  The note said that they loved us and were thinking about us.  I couldn't believe it.  It was so awesome. 

Here's some more fun pictures of us in pink.  A few days before chemo, I told everyone to wear pink on my chemo day to show support for all of those great ladies fighting breast cancer.  I thought a few of my close friends would do it but I was totally overwhelmed by the response I got.  All day I was receiving messages and pictures from people in their pink.  They all sent their love and support to me and I could not believe what I was seeing.  I had no idea that my family and I had so may supporters and friends.  It was amazing.  Here are all of the awesome people who love us and sent me pictures of them in their pink shirts:

Can you believe that?  There were over 50 people in these pictures not to mention the ones who did not send me a picture.  Not only did my close friends do this, but people I have not seen or talked to forever did it too.  There were even a few people I haven't seen since high school that sent me pictures and texts.  I seriously could not believe it.  I love all of these great people!!

Now that I have had my first chemo treatment, it was time to just wait and see how my body reacted to the poison and what side effects would come from it.  

I was doing okay for the first couple days but then I just got really tired.  I slept a lot.  I took my Zolfran for a couple of days just to ward off any nausea I might have.  On the fourth day the diarrhea started so I took Imodium.  I also started that time of the month and for some reason (probably chemo) it was much heavier than usual and lasted a few days longer.  Because of this, I had a migraine as well.  The nurses said I could take Tylenol but to take my temperature first in case I had a fever.  I was running a slight fever of 99 but I took the Tylenol and went to bed.  That helped the headache. Then on the fifth day I was super tired again.  Before going to bed I took my temperature again and it was 100.9 which is higher than it should have been for a chemo patient.  My doctor said that if I had a fever that high, I should come in or go to the ER and be checked out for neutropenia.  That is when your white blood cell are so low that they cannot fight any infections that might be causing the fevers. The doctor said that if left untreated, I could die. This really worried me so I called Russell and he was able to come home from work and take me to the ER since it was almost midnight by that time.  Calen and Ro were able to come over and watch the kids.  

That night at the ER was probably the longest night of my life!  It was so bad.  I had to wear a mask the whole time to protect me from getting anything going around the ER.  This was bad because I felt like I couldn't breath from claustrophobia.  The nurses accessed my port and drew more labs.  Then we had to wait FOREVER!! Then I had a chest x-ray, then we had to wait some more.  Then they wanted to draw labs from another vein to compare the first set too.  This was the worst too because the Tech could not get a vein for some reason and kept fishing around which did not feel the greatest.  Finally another Tech came in and fixed the first tech's mistake before she blew my vein.  This also didn't feel the best.  But finally they got the blood they needed.  Then we waited some more.  I was so tired but I could not sleep because I was so uncomfortable and we had to wait and wait and wait.  I was about ready to say "Forget it, I'll just die at home" when the doctor finally came in and told us what we already knew.  He said that I did have neutropenic fever but everything else looked fine.  My white cells had dropped from 8,000 on chemo day to 1,200 five days later.  This was not ideal but they gave me this super antibiotic to take for 7 days to kill any bacteria that might have been causing the fever.  Finally at 4:30 am, after taking the first antibiotic, we were able to go home.  It was the longest night ever!

When we got home, I was feeling so sick so I just went to bed.  At 6 am I woke up with crazy diarrhea and threw up (sorry for the TMI).  I took a shower and was totally wiped out.  I took another Zolfran and Imodium and went back to bed for the rest of the day.  During this time, the kids got sick too.  Colby threw up twice and Emily threw up all day.  Charlotte puked once and Logan said his stomach hurt but he never threw up.  Because of my super weak immune system, I was quarantined to my room so I would not get whatever the kids had.  That left poor Russell to take the brunt of taking care of everyone.  I felt so bad that I couldn't help but every time I tried to come out of the room to help he told me to get back in the room.  I was so glad he was there to take care of us and that his Captains at work were able to let him stay home from work to be there for us.  There is no way I could have done it on my own.  

By the next day (Sunday) we all were feeling better.  I still stayed in bed most of the day but was not nearly as bad off as the day before.  Now I had a new problem though.  I think I OD'ed on Imodium because now I could not go to the bathroom at all.  This I think was worse than the other.  I was like this for three to four days.  I could not even eat anything because it hurt so bad.  I followed up with Dr. S on Tuesday and I told him I was feeling much better and the fever was going away.  He said I looked fine and the antibiotic was probably the best thing to help me.  I was relieved until he told me I probably shouldn't have take the Imodium when I had a fever because it could actually trap the bacteria in your body and kill you.  Oh great I thought now I really am going to die...  He gave me some ideas on how to get things regular again and I went home and started the process.  I was really worried that with my white blood count so low that he would say we needed to do Neulasta shots now but he didn't say anything about that.  I guess we will see what he says when I go in for my next treatment.  

After walking on the treadmill everyday and doing some other tricks, things started getting regular again and I have started feeling much better over the last little bit.  

The worst side effect I have been experiencing through out this whole ordeal has been my taste buds.  The chemo totally killed all of the taste buds in my mouth.  Now I cannot taste anything.  Everything  I eat just tastes bad.  I don't even want to eat sometimes because I know it will just taste like barf.  Even drinking water tastes like I am drinking out of a warm garden hose.  The worst was when I was eating an Otter Pop with the kids.  The coldness was great for my mouth but the taste was so bad that I didn't even want to finish.  It just tasted like a barf flavored Jelly Belly bean.  (Yes I have eaten one of those.)  I also have a constant bad taste in my mouth which I try to get rid of with water but then the water tastes like hose.  I have found that if I put a flavor in the water and a lot of ice, it is not so bad.   

I still have my hair which is good but I don't know how much longer I will have it for.  Usually it takes about 3-6 weeks to fall out.  I have noticed a little more than usual on my pillow in the morning and in the shower when I wash it but so far it is not gone yet.

On the bright side though, chemotherapy has not been as bad as I thought at least this round any way. I was preparing for the worst while hoping for the best and it was not as bad as I thought all things considered so that was good.

Russell and the kids have been great supporters and have been great at getting things done while I have been in bed.  Thankfully Russell has had a couple weeks off from work so he has been having fun taking the kids to the library, Lincoln free lunch, and the splash pad.  It is good for him and the kids to spend time together.  

Well you gotta love chemo side effects...  I am 25% done with chemo, we will see how the rest of the treatments go...

To be continued...

10 months

Can you believe this cute baby is 10 months old!  Charlotte is growing up so fast and her personality is getting better everyday.  We love this little knock head! 

Charlotte is learning so many new things and loving every experience.  She recently discovered that she loves being in the water.

She had so much fun playing in the little kiddie pool at the Phillips and the splash pad is her new favorite place.  She loves doing anything her older brothers and sister do.  Sometimes this bothers them because she gets into all of their stuff but it is good for them to play with her.  

Charlotte did a funny thing this month.  One day she pooped in her pants and then she rolled into the bathroom and laid on the rug and squawked until I came into the bathroom to change her diaper.  It was so funny.  If only that meant that she was ready to be potty trained.  That would be great!

Charlotte has been getting up on her knees lately and rocking back and forth.  She will maybe take one crawl or two but nothing more.  Then on July 6, she decided to crawl for the first time! 

She took her first crawls at 10 months old!  The funny thing about it was that her first crawls were to food!  She found a jelly bean on the floor and just set her mind to it to get that jelly bean.  Well she did it and what could I do but let her have that candy.  Since then she has been crawling everywhere!  She is still kind of slow at crawling but she is getting the hang of it and getting better everyday.  She kind of likes crawling now.

Another thing Charlotte discovered that she loves is suckers:

She had her first sucker on my birthday and she absolutely loved it!  She was getting really sticky so we tried to take it away to clean her up but she was having nothing to do with it.  She freaked out and would not let us take it from her.  She loved that thing!

Another fun thing Charlotte has learned this month is how to say "Uh-Oh!"  Whenever she drops anything she says "Uh-Oh!"  It is so cute!  But now she thinks it is a fun game to play to drop things all the time and say uh-oh.   She is also saying other fun words like mama, dada, num and other baby babbles.  When we ask her if she wants a treat she nods her head and says "Yeah! Num" and smacks her lips.  It is so fun that she is talking and interacting with us more and more.

We love you Cute Thing!